Wow, I have never know anything as crippling as when I lose control. Last night and this project are prime examples of when I shut down because I don't have control of a situation that is as important as this one. Surrender? One of the biggest struggles I have left. I need to know or see how this project will get done, but I don't. See how that is going to happen and I can't just trust. Ultimately that is what we are called to do, when we are being proactive an let God do the rest he will meet us, right? I can't just assume that God will complete all I have to make some attempt. God teaches us lessons in the strangest ways. Like taking away your wallet an leaving you stranded. That's when I just shut down because my plans fell apart and I lost all hope.
If I had taken the time to breath and I dunno but I can't do that I have to over react. I need to learn to surrender on the one hand and learn to deal with my anxiety better on the ofer hand . God works good for those who believe in Him. I believe in Him and I know this will work out. Let's see how tonight goes... God surely won't dissappiont. :)
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