My secret
I live with two couples, and it makes me sad to see people in love. watching everyone else be happy makes me green with envy, so i become passive aggressive. and I avoid them at all costs. especially when the four of them all together... what am i then? the fifth wheel? I wont put myself through that again.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
So about those lies...
I am still having trouble undertanding myself. Those lies... never seem to leave me be. I hate coming to this class alone, I still cant seem to make friends the way I want to. It's the peer thing, I guess I look even more like a loser to the because I am all alone. But maybe if I wasn't afraid of them than there wouldn't be a problem, unfortunately it's a phobia, one that I am ashamed of and can't believe I live my life by. I need a new beginning. I can tell everyone to live that way, but I can't believe it or live it for myself. I live in a world of excuses a closed world where I am all alone I can't share my burrden. I need someone to hold me accountable, but of no one knows how can they help.
God I come to you and pray for your strenght to empower me. I refuse to live the lies.
God I come to you and pray for your strenght to empower me. I refuse to live the lies.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
ITS A LIE
First of all, I just want to say that relationships are complicated, and I am not sure I am going to ever be able to handle a relationship.
Second of all, I was talking with someone today and she said that i should point out the lies that everyone has always told me about myself.
1. why would anyone ever want to look at you, or be in a relationship with you. THAT'S A LIE! I am worth just as much love as anyone else. I am worthy.
2. you have a weird accent. THAT'S A LIE! I am no different any anyone else. I was just a normal 12 year old girl. I am still just a normal person.
3. maybe if you tried harder to look nicer someone would ask you to prom. THAT'S A LIE! why can't someone just love me for who I am? Why do I have to be different for someone to love me? I am who God created me to be, beautiful inside and out.
Satan can't use these lies to beat me down any more
Bueno, me voy... hasta pronto amor
Second of all, I was talking with someone today and she said that i should point out the lies that everyone has always told me about myself.
1. why would anyone ever want to look at you, or be in a relationship with you. THAT'S A LIE! I am worth just as much love as anyone else. I am worthy.
2. you have a weird accent. THAT'S A LIE! I am no different any anyone else. I was just a normal 12 year old girl. I am still just a normal person.
3. maybe if you tried harder to look nicer someone would ask you to prom. THAT'S A LIE! why can't someone just love me for who I am? Why do I have to be different for someone to love me? I am who God created me to be, beautiful inside and out.
Satan can't use these lies to beat me down any more
Bueno, me voy... hasta pronto amor
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