I have a problem, I am suffering from lack of confidence. I thought I had left my insecurities in Spain, but I guess my work is far from over. Tonight, I am going to a bar that I have never been to, to meet up with a friend I haven't seen in years. Dylan is one of my best friends from high school, and I can't eat I'm so nervous. I over react, I am scared to get there, and have him not show up, and then I'm by myself. I am not sure if it would be better if I had been to this bar before or not. This happened, on Sunday, but it wasn't as bad, because I knew the bar and the person I was meeting was someone i have seen within the last two months. Dylan, I haven't seen in 3 years.
It blows my mind, that the insecurities that have kept me in bondage for years, that I thought I had abandoned, are still a large part of who I am. I just don't get what triggers this problem, and I don't know how to deal with it. Am I nervous that I am not good enough? Im scared of how people will respond to me, and that I'll be left alone.
Maybe I'll get answers one day, until then, I have to be bold, and pray that I make the right choices. I think this is part of hte reason i have a drinking problem, because drinking puts me at ease and allows me to relax. I am trying to figure out how to do that without a drink. yikes... God i pray that you will help me discover my worth and my pride in myself.
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